PROMS, (Last Night of)

Gerard McBurney, composer, writer, broadcaster

It would take a buffoon to interfere much with the Last Night of the Proms, but there are a few elements I would like to see thrown into the mixture. One would be a moment of intense stillness. The lights would be lowered to a single spot; all we would see and hear would be a lone counter-tenor and a lutenist doing one song by Dowland. That would be real British music and a real British tradition to believe in. Also, how about a regular spot for that dreaded item, the new orchestral piece?

But with rules:

1) Every year, the new piece has the same place in the programme;
2) The new piece must never last longer than 4 minutes, 33 seconds. If the composer goes over, the orchestra should just stop playing;
3) The piece must be VERY LOUD and VERY FAST (most modern composers are chicken about writing real fast music: they just bounce up and down on the spot instead);
4) The prommers should mark it out of 10 at the end (he who shouts loudest wins).
Also ... Elgar. How about reviving those outrageous patriotic pieces from the first world war, written for speaker and orchestra: Carillon, Une Voix dans le Désert and Le Drapeau Belge? They are so beautiful and such fun, and no one ever does them.