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New Orleans, Louisiana, United States
Admire John McPhee, Bill Bryson, David Remnick, Thomas Merton, Richard Rohr and James Martin (and most open and curious minds)

11.5.18

Mothering




The Hand That Rocks and Rules

Moms can be so annoying. But where would we be without them?
Compiled by Kathleen O’Brien
When I was in my freewheeling 20s, the conversation over drinks with friends once turned to our mothers — and how they drove us nuts. I laughed at my friends’ gripes and shared my own, but I also wondered, “Why would I ever want to become this annoying person in someone’s life?”

Nonetheless, I did have a child within a decade of that conversation. It didn’t take me long to realize that 1) I was in way over my head and I’d better call my mom, and 2) if my kid didn’t sometimes find me annoying, I probably wasn’t doing it right.
In tribute to all that concern and guidance and love, this weekend we are sharing some of our favorite Opinion articles and videos on mothers and motherhood. Take a look.

Our Mothers as We Never Saw Them

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Edan Lepucki’s mother at 20, on her honeymoon in Mexico.
Old photos of our mothers feel like both a chasm and a bridge. The woman we’ve come to think of as Mom is also a mysterious, fun, brave babe. She’s been here all this time.

Job Description for the Dumbest Job Ever

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CreditDingding Hu
In the position of mother, you will be responsible for literally everything, including keeping co-workers alive.
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Video
 
After her mother passes away, the filmmaker Judith Helfand struggles to pack up her things — figuring out what to keep and how to let go.Published On
From the filmmaker Judith Helfand: “My mother indirectly left me an object lesson on the importance of going through your loved one’s stuff with them. And so I urge you: Take the time while your parents and loved ones are still alive. It’ll be much more fun.”

Motherhood Isn’t Sacrifice, It’s Selfishness

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CreditVivienne Flesher
How is being a mother selfless? Selflessness implies that we have no skin in the game. In motherhood, we’re all in.

Columnists on loving and missing their mothers:

Frank Bruni: Muddling Through Mother’s Day

“Someone will tell you to be sure you ‘don’t forget Mom today.’ To that, at least, your response will be honest: ‘I never do.’

Maureen Dowd: A Woman Who Found a Way to Write

“Mom was not famous, but she was remarkable. ... When I told her I was thinking of writing a memoir, she dryly remarked, ‘Of whom?’

Thomas L. Friedman: Call Your Mother

“Much of the outlook that infuses my own writings was bred into me from my mom, who believed that even if pessimists were usually right, optimists were behind great changes.”
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What Makes a Mother? Suffering

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A mother being comforted after dropping off her daughter for her first day of kindergarten.CreditKirsten Luce for The New York Times
“People have pointed out to me that, despite calling myself a mother, I didn’t give birth to my sons. They’re right, of course. But there is a lot more to parenting than birthing,” writes Jennifer Finney Boylan.

Mom: The Designated Worrier

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CreditAnna and Elena Balbusso
“Sociologists sometimes call the management of familial duties ‘worry work,’ and the person who does it the ‘designated worrier,’ because you need large reserves of emotional energy to stay on top of it all,” writes Judith Shulevitz.

What Black Moms Know

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CreditChristian Robinson
An overabundance of advice has turned mothering into a hot mess of guilt, confusion and hard labor, writes Ylonda Gault Caviness. “Thankfully, I am a black mom. Like many of my fellow sisters, I don’t have time for all that foolishness.”

The Mother’s Day Trap

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CreditMartin Parr/Magnum Photos
“I will love having them all home for Mother’s Day,” Margaret Renkl writes, “but in one tiny little corner of my mind I will also be missing the days when they were still so small and so needy, when the family circle was still close and closed.”

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