"I can be a good sport about adverbs, though. Yes I can. With one exception: dialogue attribution. I insist that you use the adverb in dialogue attribution only in the rarest and most special of occasions...and not even then, if you can avoid it. Just to make sure we all know what we're talking about, examine these three sentences:
"Put it down!" she shouted. "Give it back," he pleaded, "it's mine." "Don't be such a fool, Jekyll," Utterson said.
"In these sentences, shouted, pleaded, and said are verbs of dialogue attribution. Now look at these dubious revisions:
"Put it down!" she shouted menacingly. "Give it back," he pleaded abjectly, "it's mine." "Don't be such a fool, Jekyll," Utterson said contemptuously.
"The three latter sentences are all weaker than the three former ones, and most readers will see why immediately. 'Don't be such a fool, Jekyll,' Utterson said contemptuously is the best of the lot; it is only a cliche, while the other two are actively ludicrous. Such dialogue attributions are sometimes known as 'Swifties,' after Tom Swift, the brave inventor-hero in a series of boys' adventure novels written by Victor Appleton II. Appleton was fond of such sentences as 'Do your worst!' Tom cried bravely and 'My father helped with the equations,' Tom said modestly. When I was a teenager there was a party-game based on one's ability to create witty (or half-witty) Swifties. 'You got a nice butt, lady,' he said cheekily is one I remember; another is 'I'm the plumber,' he said, with a flush. (In this case the modifier is an adverbial phrase.) ...
"Some writers try to evade the no-adverb rule by shooting the attribution verb full of steroids. The result is familiar to any reader of pulp fiction or paperback originals:
"Put down the gun, Utterson!" Jekyll grated. "Never stop kissing me!" Shayna gasped. "You damned tease!" Bill jerked out.
"Don't do these things. Please oh please. The best form of dialogue attribution is said, as in he said, she said, Bill said, Monica said."
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